ILLUSTRARE
SANCTUM

Imagination will
often carry us to worlds that never were.

 
    

 

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Sarah
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Sarah


Posts : 16
Join date : 2016-02-18
Age : 32
Location : Austin

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PostSubject: Journal   Journal EmptyJanuary 7th 2018, 8:25 am

Welcome to the Re-Launch!

No but seriously, overhauling this site was exactly what it needed. Especially the reorganizing. It actually looks like a decent digital library, instead of an awkward attempt at one, with silly, nuanced titles and unnecessary categories. I've already thought of several ways to fill up all the empty space, especially in the Meta Fiction section. I figure that's the only place where I can have my characters interacting with each other as if they were actual members of the website. And the first thing I'll have them discuss is Jen's "disappearance."

I'm also really happy I found avatars for all the characters that actually resemble them strongly. I can look at all the pictures from a distance and know immediately who's who. I might give Miri something better, now that I actually know how to search for good avatar pictures. But it's a seriously time-consuming process, and probably won't be worth it. But maybe. If I get really stuck on it one day while babysitting and have nothing else to do.

While there's lots to say about my real life and what's going on right now, why I'm babysitting and such, I won't discuss it here. This site is for my fantasies, and those alone. Talking about anything else just wouldn't...fit.


Last edited by Sarah on January 7th 2018, 11:16 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Sarah
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Sarah


Posts : 16
Join date : 2016-02-18
Age : 32
Location : Austin

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PostSubject: Re: Journal   Journal EmptyJanuary 7th 2018, 11:16 pm

Getting there...

Got some more tweaking done today, and I'm especially proud of finding the "switch user" code from the support forum. Now it'll be much easier to have the character users interact, since I can switch them at any point.

Still waiting for help on some site layout crap. That one cell on the topic list view is really bothering me.

Meanwhile I'll take any excuse to fill up all the empty space here. Thought about posting a review of Chappie, but, don't have much to say about it. I liked some parts of it, and it was overall an enjoyable film. But it wasn't nearly as good as District 9. Seemed to be from the same universe though. Even had the same major city. I'll have to look into that.


Last edited by Sarah on January 8th 2018, 1:54 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Sarah
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Sarah


Posts : 16
Join date : 2016-02-18
Age : 32
Location : Austin

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PostSubject: Re: Journal   Journal EmptyJanuary 8th 2018, 1:54 pm

One little thing after another.

Seems that whenever I solve one problem, another one pokes me. I fixed the table/row formation for my topic list, and much appreciated the help that guided me to the answer. But now I've discovered that my favorite addition to this revamped forum is broken - it only works when I'm on the home page, even though I added it to the overall header, so that it shows up on each page of my site.

Fortunately the second best thing about the help forum (besides the help proving effective) is that they are FAST and on top of things. I've already got a response from the staff, asking a follow-up question. So hopefully they'll be able to tell me how to fix this within like, the next hour.

Meanwhile, I wonder if I should ask for a review after all this is said and done. I'm really proud of my work, and I'm this close to wrapping up. Well. Let's get that switch user box fixed and then give it a good think.
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Sarah
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Sarah


Posts : 16
Join date : 2016-02-18
Age : 32
Location : Austin

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PostSubject: Re: Journal   Journal EmptyJanuary 10th 2018, 2:32 pm

Not impressed.

So I went ahead and asked help.forumotion to review Sanctum, and guess what, the request was quietly and unceremoniously deleted.

*Turns out it was a glitch.

After an extended discussion and brainstorm wave the other night, I'm excited for how much I get to add and develop for my stories and characters this week. I may have to come up with an even more basic profile sheet for the minor characters/figures, and they'd be posted under my username.

I'm having an inner debate again on whether to try and get some of my own scenes out now, or to wait and try writing with Emily again. We've already exhausted our time together this week, but, there's a lot to catch up on still. A lot to follow through on. Anyway, it's still all disorganized and hard to pinpoint. If I wrote a scene alone, what would it be?

I think the better thing to do would be to find and make a super short profile template and start getting some of these minor character ideas down, so that I don't forget them.
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Sarah
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Sarah


Posts : 16
Join date : 2016-02-18
Age : 32
Location : Austin

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PostSubject: Re: Journal   Journal EmptyJanuary 11th 2018, 2:35 pm

Painful.

I know I said I wouldn't talk about my personal life on here. The personal feelings are going to come out, regardless. If I'm upset, I can't keep it in. Sometimes our emotions prove to be infantile, insisting on bursting out of us, throttling our throats, wringing our hands and slapping us in the face. It's so ugly, and unwanted, and it feels pointless trying to stop it. Trying to stop it, trying to control such a sensitive little thing will only make it worse. But by withdrawing, I'm enabling the infant in myself. I'm telling the infant that it's okay to scream, to be selfish and bratty, and unable to see the bigger picture.

And then someone tells me that they're dealing with more than an inner infant - that they have suffered inner demons - and everything goes quiet. Because who could possibly whine in the face of that reality?

Ugh. There isn't anything nice. No confidence, no comfort, no promises. And everything here is just a weak, shallow outlet for what I think. How is that helpful?
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Sarah
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Sarah


Posts : 16
Join date : 2016-02-18
Age : 32
Location : Austin

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PostSubject: Re: Journal   Journal EmptyJanuary 13th 2018, 5:35 pm

Dry as dust.

Wow can my imagination be any more useless. Seriously. Put aside everything else. In my brain, it's all cracked and empty and I can't even think of a decent metaphor for the stupid thing. Yay.

I'm thinking I just want to get food, and after I've eaten, I can get some productive, creative juices flowing, but knowing me, I'll just get sleepy and waste even more time. I do have one scene in mind that I've wanted to get on paper for some time, but I need another person to help co-write it since not all the characters are mine. Meanwhile I'm just feeling frustrated and wanting to dwell on an outlet.

But I'm tired of just sitting still and thinking over stuff. I want the words to pack the punches in the scene as it comes, I want everything to feel as visceral as I imagine it must. And then I actually try to write and it's like...yeah...not worth it. But it must be. Because it starts as words in my head. There's something there. I don't understand why it's so hard to make it work.
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Sarah
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Sarah


Posts : 16
Join date : 2016-02-18
Age : 32
Location : Austin

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PostSubject: Re: Journal   Journal EmptyApril 27th 2018, 11:37 pm

I am persisting...but for what?

For the past few weeks or so, my writing efforts have been uncharacteristically steady. I'm persisting in things. I'm actually putting more and more things to paper, and practicing scenes in notebooks.

I feel a kind of preference to pen and paper. It's satisfying. The page fills up, and I've figured something out, and the progress is so palpable. But on the other hand the corrections are excessive. I repeat myself. I get stuck. Yet it feels better than keeping it all trapped in my head.

I have questions. I don't know what to do.

I don't want to talk about my personal life, but...

Am I a snob? After getting serious backlash from publishing a silly anecdote, almost a year old, I feel...discouraged. And stupid. Words are so...special. Just get one or two wrong and you get hurt. I care too much. Or do I? What should I regret? What should I say? And does it really matter?
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